ARE YOU READYYYYYYYYYYYYY
…to be offended?
Great. Because today we’re going to talk about another one of my favorite fake disease: chronic fatigue.
Chronic fatigue syndrome symptoms are strikingly similar to being a loser
So look, here’s the deal people:
YES I am aware that doctors and the medical community have come up with a fancy sounding name for chronic fatigue syndrome.
And YES I realize that there have been scientific studies that prove that the symptoms that are known as “chronic fatigue” have a specific effect on the human brain and body.
And YES I even realize that medications are prescribed for this mysterious chronic fatigue syndrome.
But… so what?
Seriously – so what?
I’ve committed to writing 2000-3000 words for this article, but honestly I’m not sure how I can make it so long. Because the point is simple enough to write down into one single sentence:
If you want something badly enough, you will push through whatever you have to push through in order to get it.
So you’re feeling a little tired and can’t:
- get a job
- go to work
- make any money
- go to the gym
- take care of your kids
- play with your pets
- walk around the block
Seriously… this is a disease now? Being tired is a disease?
Perhaps even more alarming is the fact that now we have created a disease around the fact that people’s lives are so meaningless that they find themselves being too tired to drag themselves out of bed to participate in the modern world.
Chronic fatigue syndrome is really just you hating your life
I made a video about this recently, but when it’s VERY easy to be tired when you don’t want to do something.
- If you hate your job, it’s hard to drag yourself out of bed in the morning.
- If you hate going to nightclubs, it’s EASY to be “too tired” when your friends call you up to go out.
- If you hate sleeping with your spouse, it’s a piece of cake to say that you would rather sleep.
The only difference between this and the fake disease known as chronic fatigue syndrome is that the previous three all occur around the time when you’re SUPPOSED to be sleeping.
However, the people who have this fake disease actually just hate their lives SO much that they feel tired ALL time time.
The chronic fatigue diet – natural foods
Want to know how to actually CURE your chronic fatigue?
No, of course you don’t. You love your life of leisure.
You LOVE sitting around all day and doing nothing. Watching YouTube videos, probably some porn, playing video games, not working, being a drain on your friends and family and society…
You LOVE being a leech, don’t you?
Sorry if that sounds harsh, but it’s true.
Because like I said earlier, there is only one reason to do anything in life: because you have an overwhelming desire to do it.
Without that overwhelming desire, you’re not going to do it. I don’t care what it is, chronic fatigue or no.
That said, if you actually DO want to cure your chronic fatigue, then it’s as simple as changing your diet.
First of all, if you’re overweight AND suffer from chronic fatigue, like… duh?
Are you actually stupid? You weigh 300 lbs and you’re tired all the time. Gee I wonder why.
I can’t think of a single reason why your body, made to carry half of that weight, seems to experience fatigue at all hours of the day from carrying an extra 120 lbs of unnecessary fat.
So confusing! Gosh I wish SCIENCE could come in and save us with some of their SCIENCE MAGIC for this incredible CONFUSING PROBLEM!
Okay, so enough patronizing. Here’s how you fix your diet:
- Raw animal products
Bada boom bada bing, cured!
I’ve said it so many times that I almost can’t bring myself to say it anymore – raw animal products are the most bioavailable nutrient dense foods on the planet. Nothing else even comes close.
Raw eggs, raw muscle/organ meat, raw dairy – these are the foods you must eat.
For one thing, it’s impossible to become obese if you’re only eating those foods. You’ll actually lose a ton of weight if you’re carrying anything extra.
For another, eating raw foods gives you an incredible level of energy that truly needs to be experienced to believe.
Anecdotally, ever since I switched to eating raw meat (and now a few raw eggs as well), I have amazing levels of energy all throughout the day.
Plenty of gas in the tank to wake up at 6 AM, work all day, run for an hour or work out, work some more, and top it all off with a nice 7 hours of sleep.
The cure for every modern disease is the same: raw animal products.
But but but! They’re unclean! You’ll get diseases!
No you won’t.
I can’t even argue with this point anymore because every single person who has ever said that to me has never tried it on their own.
Meanwhile I’m over here eating raw meat that’s been sitting out in the hot Vietnamese sun, placed on the same counter that old Vietnamese ladies are sitting on without any shoes.
Gross, yes. But did I get sick? Not even a little.
Did I feel amazing? Yes.
The best chronic fatigue syndrome treatment is changing your life
All too often in the modern world we look for a chemical or treatment-based solution to a problem that we shouldn’t have in the first place.
We give ADD medication to kids to help them concentrate in school, when what we really should be doing is making school more interesting.
We perform elaborate heart surgeries on extremely obese people to remove chunks of built up cholesterol from their arteries, when what we really should be doing is preventing them from getting obese in the first place.
And when it comes to chronic fatigue, we have the same issue: you should’t have it in the first place.
As I mentioned in the last section, the first thing you need to do is get your diet on point. Without that, you’re not even allowed to complain.
However, changing your diet will only take you so far. What you really need is to take drugs. But we’ll go over that in the next section.
What you REALLY need to do before that is to change your life.
For example… let’s say you are one of these poor souls who suffers from the fake imaginary disease known colloquially as chronic fatigue.
You’re tired all the time, boo hoo.
Now let’s say that I brought in the most attractive person you’ve ever seen in your life. Your favorite celebrity, porn star, childhood crush, the one that got away, whatever.
I magically presented you with the most sexually arousing thing you could ever imagine. And this person was just as hot for you as you were for them.
Then they said to you, “I want you baby. Take me now!”
Would you still be tired?
No. You’d hop your butt out of bed and go to town on this person.
So what we can draw from this is that chronic fatigue is SITUATIONAL.
In certain SITUATIONS you experience chronic fatigue, and in certain ones you don’t. This is based on the level of how badly you want to do something.
This is a gross simplification of course because there are thousands of factors that need to be accounted for in our lives.
Maybe you hate your kids, love your job, and are ambivalent about spending time with your wife.
Maybe you hate your small town, love playing Call of Duty, and are ambivalent about living with your family.
However, one way to cut through the noise and determine what areas you need to change is to identify:
- the things you spend most of your time doing
- the areas of your life that give you the most pain
- the areas of your life that give you the most pleasure
And to be fair, pain and pleasure are broad terms that are open to interpretation.
The pain of training your body in the gym for the first few weeks is a good thing. The pleasure of excessive masturbation is not.
Look, I’ll make it simple: if you want to single out the best chronic fatigue syndrome treatment, you have to figure out what areas of your life you hate and then change those areas.
For example, at the time of this writing, I have two areas of my life that I am not happy with: my financial situation and my social life.
Not thrilled about fitness currently either (no gyms in Japan = no bueno), but I know I can change that easily enough once I leave.
This pain DOES NOT cause me to lie in bed all day and do nothing. Instead, it causes me to take action on my goals and 1) try to make more money, and 2) try to improve my social life.
Taking action: the ultimate chronic fatigue treatment
And this is what it really comes down to, boys and girls. If you want to bust a nut in the face of chronic fatigue, you need to take action.
Well first you need to identify the right action to take. THEN you need to take it.
For example, the process looks like this:
- Experience chronic fatigue
- Identify areas of your life that you hate
- Choose a variable in those areas to change
- Take action towards changing them
The problem is that people just stop at step 1.
They turn off their brains and think, “Oh no, it’s got a fancy sounding medical name! I can’t possibly do anything about it!”
Instead, take a more proactive approach. Yes, I know this will require you to think for yourself.
But more importantly, this will cause you think in a way that probably causes you pain. Because you’re going to have to spend time thinking about changing areas of your life that will thrust you into unknown territory.
Using myself again as an example, I am interviewing with a company that I know can DRASTICALLY change my life in ways that I want it to change.
It will enable me to make more money, improve my social life, and network with literal billionaires and celebrities.
But as cool as that sounds, I still find myself somewhat resistant to the idea.
Because I know that it means I’ll have to spend the next year of my life in a city in America that I’ve never been to. I’m not crazy about living in America – too many Americans there – but I realize that this is literally the opportunity of a lifetime and will VASTLY improve my life once I’m done.
Furthermore, it’ll mean that for the next year, I probably won’t be able to go to Thailand, Vietnam, Israel, or any of my other favorite hot spots around the world.
In other words, you’ll have to give up what means the most to you in order to get what you claim to want.
This is like telling a homeless person that you’re going to give him an apartment, but he has to give you his tent first.
It makes total sense for him to do that, right? But he doesn’t, because he is used to his tent and literally can’t imagine what his life would be like without it.
Even if it means moving onto something better.
The best drugs for chronic fatigue
Alright, so now that we’ve got the motivation stuff out of the way, let’s talk about the big guns in our chronic fatigue arsenal: drugs.
Before we get into this, I have to say that you should consult your doctor, this isn’t medical advice, etc etc etc.
And also I want to say that these drugs will ONLY be effective if you follow through on the advice in the other sections as well. Just taking some drugs without changing your diet or your life is not going to make you feel any better.
That said, these drugs will make it EASIER to change those things. But they need to be done in conjunction with one another.
Modafinil – the cure for chronic fatigue
The first drug I want to talk about is modafinil.
Developed in the 80s by the US government to keep fighter pilots performing at a high level on no sleep, modafinil is an amazing drug that will give you clean energy throughout the day.
Basically the way it works is like this: you’ll experience around 2 hours of a “peak” on modafinil about 15 minutes after taking it, then after that you’ll still have around 12 hours of clean energy.
The half life is about 15-16 hours.
In my experience, I found modafinil to be EXTREMELY helpful when working at high-intensity sales jobs.
I used to work in a commission-only retail setting that required me to do demonstrations constantly throughout the day. It was a tough job, I was on my feet all the time, and I only got paid if the customer bought something.
This meant I had to be “on” all the time. You either do this job with 100% of your effort and have fun and make money, or you do it with 99% or less and hate your life.
I chose the former most of the time.
And sure, while I had the proper reasons for wanting to do it and my diet was clean, I absolutely definitely positively would NOT have made as much money (and had as much fun) as I did without modafinil.
If only I had found it sooner in my career…
Anyway, modafinil is awesome.
Wellbutrin – the other cure for chronic fatigue
Another drug that I’m super fond of taking is Wellbutrin. This is an antidepressant that stimulates your body’s ability to produce norepinephrine.
I don’t really understand how it works beyond that, and honestly I don’t care.
All I know is that I take 300 mg in the morning and it’s like I’m living my life on easy mode.
- Need to write a 3000 word article about chronic fatigue? No problem.
- Need to shoot 6 YouTube videos, write descriptions, upload them and create thumbnails? Done.
- Need to send out 300 cold emails to businesses trying to hustle up some new clients? Piece of cake!
- Need to run 10k to Ikebukuro and back? LOL ok. Simple.
Need to do ALL of those things in a single day, EVERY SINGLE DAY?
It’s too bad this drug isn’t privatized anymore because I would happily promote them. And if it wasn’t illegal I would totally link to a store and sell it as an affiliate, it’s literally that good.
If I didn’t have it in my life, I don’t know where I’d be. Probably not having as much fun as I am now.
Anecdotally, the best way that I can describe Wellbutrin is that it is a spirit that possesses your body, moves your arms and legs like a marionette, and allows you to effortlessly complete the tasks that you feel are part of “the grind.”
This doesn’t mean that you’ll always be happy all the time and love what you’re doing every second of every day. Def not.
I still dread doing some stuff sometimes. But the difference is that when I do decide to start doing it, Wellbutrin just makes it so much easier.
Another cool thing that Wellbutrin does is improve my verbal fluency and social skills.
Have you ever been in situations where you are with other people and 1) can’t think of anything clever to say or 2) don’t say the witty things that you DO think of because you’re nervous?
I’ve found that Wellbutrin solves those two problems for me nicely.
Not only do I have ABSOLUTELY NO PROBLEM coming up with intelligent things to say to people, but I say them enthusiastically. In fact, I’m almost surprised at how enthusiastic I am when I am talking to people. I’m also surprised that I manage to be so charming.
It’s kind of amazing.
Conclusion – your chronic disease is fake
Okay fine, maybe that’s a little harsh.
It’s entirely possible that before reading this article, you had no idea that you were making such a big deal about nothing. And it’s also possible that it never occurred to you that you needed to change your diet, change your life and start taking drugs.
But now that you’ve read my masterpiece, what excuse do you have?
Do you ACTUALLY want to solve your problem? I’m pretty sure you know what to do.
- Change your diet.
- Change your life.
- Start taking drugs.
I suppose you could just continue to lie around indefinitely, searching for someone else who is prepared to tell you that it’s not your fault.
And look, I’m not saying that it IS your fault.
What I am saying though is that in order for you to change anything in your life, you have to believe that it is within your ability to do so.
That doesn’t mean that believing you’ll be a billionaire will make you a billionaire.
Nobody accidentally is going to cure their chronic fatigue.
Nobody accidentally is going to get super shredded and stay that way well into their old age.
At the end of the day, you have to decide what you want and go for it.
Get your ass out of bed, put some clothes on, make a list of things you want to change, throw out your crappy food, and start taking the pills you know you need to take to turn your life around.
If I can do it, anyone can. I believe in you.